Einstein's Everything Bagel with Cream Cheese

The original classic. How does this staple of the bagel world rank among my favorites? Read my review below to find out!

Original Review Posted 8/28/20 via @tylermarston8 on Instagram

After so much waiting, it’s finally bagel-o-clock. Even in the midst of a tropical storm and a global pandemic, Einstein’s is showing no sign of lowering their bagel quality. Today I got my usual, the classic Everything with plain cream cheese and it was a delight. Paired with a rich chocolate milk, I found myself in a heaven of boiled dough topped with sesame and poppy seeds. And the schmear? To die for. All in all, it pleases me to know that no matter how stormy it might be outside, how distant we are inside, or just how weird and insane this semester will be, we all can find refuge, comfort, and fullness at Einstein Bro’s Bagels.

More Thoughts

To be completely upfront and unbiased, this is probably my favorite bagel. The roll is always toasted to perfection: crunchy on the outside, and chewy on the inside. The cream cheese is incredibly tasty and balances out the savory flavors of the bagel with a more sweet undertone, while not being overpowering. There's definitely a reason that an Everything with plain cream cheese is such a classic in the bagel world. I also greatly admire the versatility of this dish. When making an Everything bagel, whatever things you have are free game! Hence, the name "Everything." At Einstein's in particular, this consists of poppy seeds, sesame seeds, onion, garlic, and salt. A mouthwatering combination, the flavors you experience explode with impact into each other while consuming them, creating a vivid sensation of euphoria. This is my go-to order when I don't want to try anything new and instead relive past experiences as I reflect on simpler times. Much like Anton Ego's famous scene in Ratatouille, this bagel brings me back to my freshman year of college. Getting out of my FYE class early, hanging out with friends (and sans masks too!), it reminds me of why I fell in love with bagels to begin with.

Criticisms

However, nothing in this world is perfect. I've had several Everything bagels from this Einstein's location, and while the average experience is totally fulfilling, there have been a handful of times where little things can go wrong. My bagel can be slightly over or under toasted, or perhaps there's too much or too little cream cheese. Service wise, they did forget to make my order one time, which was frustrating in the moment. Granted, these pesky grievances can surely be forgiven with respect to the number of times they've gotten it exactly right. But, as a fair critic, I must give my audience the fact of the matter: sometimes it won't be perfect. That's life. Even in a silly blog about bagels, we unfortunately see the imprint of the broken world we live in. However, does this mean we should abandon all hope? Let it not be so! I believe somewhere out there, someone has created the best bagel recipe ever known to another human. Theoretically, it must be true that there is one bagel out there that caters to my taste buds more perfectly than any other bagel before or since. And that is our quest dear reader. No one will be able to find perfection. It does not exist in this world. But in measuring all imperfect bagels against each other we will surely find the one that stands out the most.

Verdict

With all of that being said, Einstein's Everything with plain Cream Cheese is the front-runner for this coveted G.B.O.A.T. title (That's Greatest Bagel of All Time, by the way). At the time of this blog's posting, I can comfortably say that this, being my favorite bagel I've had in my life, is the current king of all bagels. It is a decent 9 out of 10.

But there's no doubt in my mind that one day, Einstein's Everything with plain Cream Cheese will be dethroned. So keep checking Marston's Bagel Blog regularly for updates on which bagel will be crowned the G.B.O.A.T. once and for all!

Get updates on the Bagel Blog by following me on Instagram, @MarstonsBagelBlog, on Twitter, @BlogBagel, or using the hashtag #MarstonsBagelBlog! All photos used are my own!